Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
