And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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