so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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