You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize