Im at strip club and am horny
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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