I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
