a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
