I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My pussy is not your playground.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize