the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
