Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
