here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
porn star boner night. come get it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
