my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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