She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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