It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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