I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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