I think i sorta joined a cult last night
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
