he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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