I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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