just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
