currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize