Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
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Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We had sex on a dog bed..
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I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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