i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
