i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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