fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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