Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
