My room smells like vodka and shame
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
