I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
