I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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