Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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