i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
