I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Im part way to drunk.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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