I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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