i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
