Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
