I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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