All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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