I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
