Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
