scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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