i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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