He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
