:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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