i jhust puked up my retainher.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
