I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize