dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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