the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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