tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't deserve a penis
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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