Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
my liver is dry heaving
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
