Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
