This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
