one word: firstdatebathroomanal
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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