I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize