he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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