Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
There's always time for handjobs
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
