Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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