I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
