Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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