I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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