Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm like, not good at living.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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