carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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